Grateful for My Urge to Pull Hair?  Are You Kidding?

by Abby Leora Rohrer

Can you imagine looking at trichotillomania as a GIFT? How absurd! Is
she crazy?

For the first 25 years of my pulling I couldn't see how to look upon my behavior with anything other than scorn and revulsion. In my 26th year as a hair puller something shifted.

I began to see that my urge to pull my hair was really a gift from which I could grow. For 25 years I had spent every minute trying to not think about it. I'd think, "Maybe it'll just go away." or "Maybe I can control it today." When suddenly and inexplicably the urge to pull was gone I'd think, "Maybe it's gone. Maybe it's finally gone for good." But I was always afraid that it would return. And sure enough it always did.

After I began to journal on a regular basis, I discovered that I was strong enough to begin to look directly at my hair pulling. I began to wonder what it so persistently was trying to tell me. I stopped fearing it and became curious about it. In retrospect, I can see that by this time in my process, my healing journey was well underway.

"(But) In relation to the symptom itself, observance means first of all listening and looking carefully at what is being revealed in the suffering?"
--Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul

Are you willing to openly look at "what is being revealed in your suffering?"

The following are questions you may not have previously considered asking yourself.

  1. List 5 beliefs that keep you trapped as a victim of hair pulling.
  2. List 5 ways you hoped you would be magically rescued from it.
  3. Are you willing to experiment with changing these imprisoning beliefs? Why, why not?

In closing:

"The feelings and parts of ourselves that we have repressed do not go away just because we don't want them. They are necessary parts of us, parts we actually need for our survival. If they are not allowed their natural expression, they go underground and fester inside of us, building up steam, needing eventual release. If we do not find ways to express them, they begin to "leak out" in distorted ways. . . Anything in life that we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it."
--Shakti Gawain

Making peace with your urge to pull your hair is a process. Honor yourself by not expecting instantaneous results. If you are open, you will begin to shift your perspective. Don't ever forget, healing is a journey to be cherished not rushed.

Join me on the other side of hair pulling!

If you’re a hair pulling woman, you may wish to research TrichotillomaniaFree Women’s University where I teach the deeper lessons of how to stop your self-judgment and hair pulling for good.

If you’d like more help to stop hair pulling you can visit my 123TrichotillomaniaFree web site which discusses my book, What's Wrong With Pulling My Hair Out? It's a great place to begin. It is also available from this website and can be purchased right now using this order link.

If you’re an adult male hair puller or a woman hair puller without internet access who is ready to commit to your freedom, you may wish to consider the Pull-Free, At Last! System available at